1
00:00:02,426 --> 00:00:05,427
My fellow detectives,
ours is not an easy job.
2
00:00:05,511 --> 00:00:08,054
The hours are long,
the danger is constant.
3
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,139
The pay is LOL.
4
00:00:10,223 --> 00:00:11,892
But today, a glimmer of hope.
5
00:00:12,017 --> 00:00:15,311
For today, a new vending machine.
6
00:00:15,686 --> 00:00:17,103
[APPLAUSE]
7
00:00:17,187 --> 00:00:19,355
Behold him in all of his glory.
8
00:00:19,481 --> 00:00:21,440
So full of strength and promise,
9
00:00:21,524 --> 00:00:24,567
and most importantly,
sodium, gluten, and fat. Whoo!
10
00:00:24,651 --> 00:00:28,320
The time has finally come
to christen the machine.
11
00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:29,738
Boyle, the champagne?
12
00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:33,074
Well, technically, it's a Hungarian
Pezsgo from the Tárnok Valley.
13
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:35,410
For once in your life, don't ruin it.
Give him the bottle.
14
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,660
Thank you.
15
00:00:37,369 --> 00:00:41,873
I hereby christen thee Snacky Chan!
16
00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,483
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
17
00:00:44,751 --> 00:00:45,793
Whoa!
18
00:00:46,084 --> 00:00:48,545
Okay, well, at least it
was just the keypad.
19
00:00:48,629 --> 00:00:50,279
None of the snacks got messed up.
20
00:00:50,797 --> 00:00:52,756
Whoa! Go! Right!
21
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:53,966
-JEFFORDS: Okay, okay.
-[FIRE ALARM BEEPING]
22
00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:58,762
No! It should've been me.
It should've been me!
23
00:00:59,095 --> 00:01:01,096
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
24
00:01:18,985 --> 00:01:20,027
[FOGHORN BLARING]
25
00:01:20,111 --> 00:01:22,113
Our perp's name is Karl Ove.
26
00:01:22,239 --> 00:01:25,157
My CI said he's selling
counterfeit caviar out of a blue stall.
27
00:01:25,241 --> 00:01:27,576
This place smells like a squid
farted inside a whale's butt.
28
00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:30,661
[SNIFFS] Yes, that is
the exact combo of smells.
29
00:01:30,745 --> 00:01:32,121
Nicely done.
30
00:01:33,038 --> 00:01:35,206
Hey, next week is my
six-month anniversary with Amy.
31
00:01:35,290 --> 00:01:36,374
Should I do something special?
32
00:01:36,458 --> 00:01:37,750
You know what I like
about our relationship, Jake?
33
00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:39,293
We don't talk about our
love lives or our families,
34
00:01:39,377 --> 00:01:40,461
or anything that's on our minds.
35
00:01:40,545 --> 00:01:41,837
It's why you're my
closest friend in the world.
36
00:01:41,921 --> 00:01:44,005
Yeah, I know, but I need help on this.
37
00:01:44,089 --> 00:01:45,739
I asked Boyle and he was useless.
38
00:01:45,924 --> 00:01:48,467
Put a baby in her, Jake.
What are you waiting for?
39
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,635
So, do that then. Problem solved.
40
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,053
Look, it's our guy.
41
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,848
Excuse me, sir, we're with the NYPD.
42
00:01:55,932 --> 00:01:57,557
I just need to ask you a couple of…
43
00:01:57,641 --> 00:02:00,143
Oh! Shrimp! I hate that!
44
00:02:07,107 --> 00:02:09,359
[GRUNTS]
45
00:02:09,985 --> 00:02:12,987
You're under arrest, punk.
Nobody gets away from Jake Per…
46
00:02:13,153 --> 00:02:16,113
Something yucky touched me!
Ugh, gross, gross, gross!
47
00:02:16,197 --> 00:02:17,490
Hang on. What's that?
48
00:02:19,325 --> 00:02:20,909
What have we here?
49
00:02:20,993 --> 00:02:22,410
[SPEAKING SWEDISH]
50
00:02:22,494 --> 00:02:23,537
What?
51
00:02:23,662 --> 00:02:25,037
[SPEAKING SWEDISH]
52
00:02:25,329 --> 00:02:27,707
I have no idea what you're saying.
53
00:02:27,957 --> 00:02:29,292
[SPEAKING SWEDISH]
54
00:02:29,666 --> 00:02:31,835
Just as I suspected immediately.
55
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,711
It's a flawless 39-carat diamond
that was stolen six weeks ago
56
00:02:34,795 --> 00:02:36,087
from the Royal Stockholm Museum.
57
00:02:36,171 --> 00:02:37,714
I've just received word from Interpol
58
00:02:37,798 --> 00:02:39,048
that two detectives are on their way
59
00:02:39,132 --> 00:02:40,466
from Sweden to pick up the suspect.
60
00:02:40,550 --> 00:02:42,092
Please make them feel welcome.
61
00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:44,887
Welcome? We're gonna
roll out the fricking red carpet.
62
00:02:45,012 --> 00:02:46,596
Working a jewel heist with Interpol?
63
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,889
This is the best thing
that's ever happened to me!
64
00:02:48,973 --> 00:02:50,641
Second best. Aw.
65
00:02:51,017 --> 00:02:53,602
[WHISPERING] First best.
I was lying to Amy.
66
00:02:54,686 --> 00:02:56,438
[GROANING LOUDLY]
67
00:02:57,188 --> 00:03:00,482
Do you guys know anyone
who wants some used textbooks?
68
00:03:00,566 --> 00:03:01,608
I'd love them.
69
00:03:01,692 --> 00:03:03,108
It's never too late to teach
yourself something new…
70
00:03:03,192 --> 00:03:04,944
So, no one. Great.
71
00:03:06,154 --> 00:03:07,654
Why are you throwing those out?
72
00:03:07,738 --> 00:03:10,866
Because I'm never gonna
pass this astronomy final.
73
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,534
So, I won't graduate.
So, my life is ruined.
74
00:03:13,659 --> 00:03:15,036
Or we could help you study.
75
00:03:15,703 --> 00:03:18,704
I did graduate magna
cum laude from Syracuse.
76
00:03:18,788 --> 00:03:21,291
I know that sounds like a brag.
And it was!
77
00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:23,083
Terry killed it in college.
78
00:03:23,208 --> 00:03:25,293
Plus, I know a thing
or two about astronomy.
79
00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:28,087
I had 11 straight birthdays
at the planetarium.
80
00:03:29,672 --> 00:03:31,006
That was also a brag.
81
00:03:31,381 --> 00:03:34,468
My God, you guys are such pathetic nerds.
82
00:03:34,635 --> 00:03:37,803
But maybe that's what I
need right now, pathetic nerds.
83
00:03:37,887 --> 00:03:40,722
Okay. You pathetic nerds can help me.
84
00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:43,141
Thank you?
85
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,893
You are so welcome.
86
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,477
HOLT: Peralta, Diaz.
87
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,397
This is Inspector Knausgaard
and Deputy Inspector Carlsson.
88
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,148
Their flight here was eight hours.
89
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:54,567
It's been a pleasure talking with you
90
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,984
about the duration of your flight.
91
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,110
Good day.
92
00:03:57,235 --> 00:03:58,570
Well, there goes my opening question
93
00:03:58,654 --> 00:04:00,204
about how long your flight was.
94
00:04:00,363 --> 00:04:02,656
It was eight hours. Yeah, no, I got that.
95
00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:05,199
I was joking, sorry.
It must have got lost in translation.
96
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:06,826
No, we understand you perfectly.
97
00:04:06,910 --> 00:04:08,578
Everyone in Sweden speaks English.
98
00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:12,539
We also speak Norwegian, Dutch,
German, French, Russian, and Finnish.
99
00:04:12,623 --> 00:04:13,665
But not Danish.
100
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:15,416
That is a garbage
language for garbage people.
101
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,625
Yeah. Word up.
102
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:19,127
Well, I have almost memorized
"Gangnam Style" phonetically,
103
00:04:19,211 --> 00:04:20,336
so samesies.
104
00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,255
I don't know this word. "Samesies"?
105
00:04:22,339 --> 00:04:23,881
From context, I believe it means
106
00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:25,465
"proudly uneducated." Ah.
107
00:04:25,549 --> 00:04:26,592
So… No.
108
00:04:26,676 --> 00:04:28,301
…where's our prisoner? Being processed.
109
00:04:28,385 --> 00:04:29,677
But in the meantime,
110
00:04:29,761 --> 00:04:32,888
may I offer you some
of the finest cuisine
111
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:35,015
in Brooklyn from my favorite restaurant?
112
00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:38,559
The food cart outside the precinct.
It's really good.
113
00:04:38,685 --> 00:04:39,727
Hmm, none for Soren.
114
00:04:39,936 --> 00:04:42,186
He's allergic to lactose,
gluten, and tomato ketchup.
115
00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:44,231
Oh. Also, none for Agneta.
116
00:04:44,356 --> 00:04:46,316
She and her husband are
trying to have another baby,
117
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,318
so she can't eat anything
that will alter her cervical pH.
118
00:04:49,485 --> 00:04:52,028
Oh. You guys are real close, huh?
119
00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:54,071
In Sweden, we believe for
a proper team to function,
120
00:04:54,155 --> 00:04:56,364
partners must be completely
open with each other.
121
00:04:56,448 --> 00:04:57,866
Yeah. We have no secrets.
122
00:04:57,950 --> 00:05:00,827
Not even our bodies.
We sauna together all the time.
123
00:05:00,911 --> 00:05:02,703
Yeah, well, we are also very close.
124
00:05:02,787 --> 00:05:04,622
One time, Rosa saw me in my bathing suit.
125
00:05:04,706 --> 00:05:06,539
No, I didn't, you told me to turn around.
Yeah.
126
00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:09,083
Well, since we cannot eat
your disgusting street food,
127
00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:11,126
could you please check if our
prisoner has been processed?
128
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,711
Yeah, we don't mean to offend, it's just
129
00:05:12,795 --> 00:05:15,088
this place is filthy and you
both seem unprofessional.
130
00:05:15,172 --> 00:05:16,214
Unprofessional?
131
00:05:16,339 --> 00:05:17,381
Well, we were going to take you
132
00:05:17,465 --> 00:05:18,841
to our favorite laser tag place,
133
00:05:18,925 --> 00:05:21,384
but now, you're officially uninvited.
134
00:05:21,468 --> 00:05:22,803
Rosa.
135
00:05:23,971 --> 00:05:25,721
Ah, Boyle.
Just the man we were looking for.
136
00:05:25,805 --> 00:05:27,598
Kevin has accepted a fellowship to teach
137
00:05:27,682 --> 00:05:29,016
at the Sorbonne for the next six months.
138
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,683
Oh, I love Paris.
139
00:05:30,767 --> 00:05:33,478
At least how it's represented
in the movie Ratatouille.
140
00:05:33,645 --> 00:05:35,479
Uh… The rodent chef.
141
00:05:35,563 --> 00:05:37,273
Ah, yes. Farfetched.
142
00:05:37,565 --> 00:05:40,107
Anyway, Kevin and I belong
to the Park Slope Racquet Club,
143
00:05:40,191 --> 00:05:42,818
where we've established
a squash doubles dynasty.
144
00:05:42,902 --> 00:05:44,986
KEVIN: We've taken home
the trophy two years in a row.
145
00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:48,156
Unfortunately, I'll be flying to Paris
this year during the tournament.
146
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,740
It's a seven-hour flight. [WHISTLES]
147
00:05:49,824 --> 00:05:51,992
I remember you told
me you played in college.
148
00:05:52,076 --> 00:05:54,410
Three-time intramural
champion at Sarah Lawrence.
149
00:05:54,494 --> 00:05:57,080
Would have been four, but
senior year I played Greaseball
150
00:05:57,164 --> 00:05:58,914
in our school's production
of Starlight Express.
151
00:05:58,998 --> 00:06:00,541
Interesting casting.
152
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,917
In any case, I would be honored
if you would take my place,
153
00:06:03,001 --> 00:06:04,585
so that Raymond could make it a treble.
154
00:06:04,669 --> 00:06:07,171
Absolutely! I would love to do that!
155
00:06:07,255 --> 00:06:08,505
Great. Formidable.
156
00:06:08,589 --> 00:06:11,967
Yup! That is great. This is great.
157
00:06:12,091 --> 00:06:13,885
This is terrible. Why?
158
00:06:14,010 --> 00:06:16,136
You always said you wanted
more face time with Holt.
159
00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:19,097
No, not like this.
Squash brings out my competitive side.
160
00:06:19,181 --> 00:06:22,016
Breaking racquets,
cursing, excessive mooning.
161
00:06:22,183 --> 00:06:23,767
One time, just to psych a guy out,
162
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,727
I locked eyes with him
and ate a squash ball.
163
00:06:26,811 --> 00:06:27,853
That's not possible.
164
00:06:27,937 --> 00:06:29,605
It's still in me, Terry.
165
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,356
Look, the point is to have fun.
166
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,857
So, just relax and have fun.
167
00:06:32,941 --> 00:06:36,194
Right, right, right, yeah.
It's just a game. It's fun.
168
00:06:36,903 --> 00:06:40,323
There's no need for Holt to
see me unleash the beast.
169
00:06:40,697 --> 00:06:42,657
[LAUGHS] Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
170
00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:45,242
That's a strange little man.
171
00:06:46,243 --> 00:06:47,869
Probably telling Captain
Holt how much they like to
172
00:06:47,953 --> 00:06:48,996
[FAKE ACCENT] sauna together.
173
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,121
Please.
174
00:06:50,246 --> 00:06:51,288
They think they're so great
175
00:06:51,372 --> 00:06:52,665
just 'cause they know
each other's allergies.
176
00:06:52,749 --> 00:06:53,791
You know what I'm allergic to?
177
00:06:53,875 --> 00:06:55,083
Yup. Them. Totally.
178
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:56,918
And also bees. You should know that.
179
00:06:57,002 --> 00:06:58,753
If I got stung by a bee, I could die.
180
00:06:58,837 --> 00:07:00,379
HOLT: Detectives, I've been
talking with the inspectors.
181
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:03,132
There's been a development
in the Köttbullediamant case.
182
00:07:03,216 --> 00:07:05,299
Excellent pronunciation, Captain. Tack.
183
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,135
They believe our perp may have smuggled
184
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:09,052
more stolen Swedish
diamonds into Brooklyn.
185
00:07:09,136 --> 00:07:10,303
Oh, well, thank you for the tip.
186
00:07:10,387 --> 00:07:11,555
Have a wonderful flight home.
187
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,639
We will send you the jewels
as soon as we find them.
188
00:07:13,723 --> 00:07:16,100
They're staying and
working the case with you.
189
00:07:16,184 --> 00:07:18,144
Ah, fantastic.
190
00:07:18,228 --> 00:07:20,928
Rosa, could you please fill
my car with a million bees?
191
00:07:23,898 --> 00:07:26,025
Okay, since the Swedes are rudely late,
192
00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:27,526
let's talk anniversary gift.
193
00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:30,528
Should I get Amy something
cazh like shot glasses,
194
00:07:30,612 --> 00:07:34,073
or something less cazh,
like golden shot glasses?
195
00:07:34,198 --> 00:07:35,699
Still don't care. How about I get a jump
196
00:07:35,783 --> 00:07:37,616
on our new partners and
search the perp's apartment?
197
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:41,203
Right. We'll get some clues, solve
the case, make them look like fools.
198
00:07:41,287 --> 00:07:42,620
They can eat our American dust.
199
00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:44,914
No, no. Soren is probably
[FAKE ACCENT] allergic to dust.
200
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,041
[CHUCKLES]
201
00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:47,458
Oh, hello!
202
00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:48,959
Yes, I am allergic to dust.
203
00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:50,878
Everyone is. That's what sneezes are.
204
00:07:50,962 --> 00:07:52,962
You're what sneezes are.
Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
205
00:07:53,046 --> 00:07:54,422
What are you guys doing here?
206
00:07:54,506 --> 00:07:56,423
Oh, in Sweden, we call it police work.
207
00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:58,050
Perhaps you don't have a word for it?
208
00:07:58,134 --> 00:07:59,718
[WHISPERING] Oh, I hate you.
This is our case.
209
00:07:59,802 --> 00:08:00,885
You can't work it without us.
210
00:08:00,969 --> 00:08:02,595
Get your weird,
hairless fingers off of it.
211
00:08:02,679 --> 00:08:05,805
Soren shaves his fingers for cycling.
It cuts down on drag.
212
00:08:05,889 --> 00:08:07,140
Agneta is my biggest fanatic.
213
00:08:07,224 --> 00:08:09,560
Just as I am a fanatic
of her slam poetry.
214
00:08:09,810 --> 00:08:11,727
Would you like to hear some?
Would I like to?
215
00:08:11,811 --> 00:08:13,896
-I would hate to!
-SOREN: Your loss.
216
00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:15,813
Well, we've already
searched the entire apartment.
217
00:08:15,897 --> 00:08:17,690
Yeah, well, now we're gonna search it,
218
00:08:17,774 --> 00:08:20,151
and find things you
all missed, like this!
219
00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:21,360
Your own keys?
220
00:08:21,527 --> 00:08:23,987
Damn straight. Bag 'em, Diaz.
221
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,113
[KEYS THUD]
222
00:08:26,781 --> 00:08:29,033
Astronomy is full of interesting facts.
223
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:32,952
For instance, here's one that
Hollywood doesn't want you to know.
224
00:08:33,036 --> 00:08:36,955
A parsec is actually a
measure of distance.
225
00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:39,707
One of the many inaccuracies
in the Star Wars universe.
226
00:08:39,791 --> 00:08:41,877
Uh-huh. And what's Star Wars?
227
00:08:42,878 --> 00:08:44,127
Oh, boy.
228
00:08:44,211 --> 00:08:45,796
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.
229
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:50,841
Okay, let's talk planets.
Jupiter is a gas giant.
230
00:08:50,925 --> 00:08:53,011
So is Hitchcock. How does this help me?
231
00:08:53,218 --> 00:08:55,053
It also has 67 moons.
232
00:08:55,179 --> 00:08:57,888
I came up with a fun mnemonic
device to remember them all.
233
00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:01,100
It goes, "Every Individual Gets Crayons
234
00:09:01,184 --> 00:09:05,020
"After Telling His Aggressive Little
Mongoose Painter Called 'Ernest'
235
00:09:05,187 --> 00:09:09,564
"Some Lies About Tiny Panda Heads.
236
00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:12,900
"Maybe One Kid Could Take Her Elephant
237
00:09:12,984 --> 00:09:15,653
"Into California, Except…"
238
00:09:17,362 --> 00:09:18,404
Where's Gina?
239
00:09:18,488 --> 00:09:20,240
She told me you called me a "gas giant."
240
00:09:20,324 --> 00:09:23,242
Well, now, you and I will never hook up.
241
00:09:25,786 --> 00:09:28,329
Uh-oh. What's this?
A little piece of evidence
242
00:09:28,413 --> 00:09:30,289
that evaded your bald little hands.
243
00:09:30,373 --> 00:09:32,999
A shipping manifest that was
shoved into the back of a drawer.
244
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:34,292
Our perp transferred a container
245
00:09:34,376 --> 00:09:36,418
to a shipyard in Bay
Ridge on October 11th.
246
00:09:36,502 --> 00:09:38,879
That arrived over a month ago,
I doubt you'll find anything in it.
247
00:09:38,963 --> 00:09:40,172
Please, you're just pissed
248
00:09:40,256 --> 00:09:42,048
we cracked the case wide
open and you've got nada.
249
00:09:42,132 --> 00:09:44,008
That's right, I speak Spanish.
250
00:09:44,092 --> 00:09:46,135
Actually, we've got much more than nada.
251
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,511
Damn it, he speaks Spanish, too.
252
00:09:47,595 --> 00:09:51,932
Agneta found an invitation to
a party tonight at the home of
253
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:53,599
Alvar Gustavsson.
254
00:09:53,683 --> 00:09:55,142
The hot blond guy from True Blood? Oh!
255
00:09:55,226 --> 00:09:57,644
No, the Swedish millionaire
with ties to organized crime.
256
00:09:57,728 --> 00:09:58,854
Alvar Gustavsson. Yeah.
257
00:09:58,938 --> 00:10:01,231
Oh, that Alvar Gooz-hev-vren.
258
00:10:01,397 --> 00:10:03,440
Well, you're welcome to
pursue that dead-end lead
259
00:10:03,524 --> 00:10:05,692
while we go to the shipping
container and find the jewels.
260
00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:08,861
And maybe to celebrate, Rosa will
wear them to your dumbass party.
261
00:10:08,945 --> 00:10:10,821
No, they're priceless,
please do not do that.
262
00:10:10,905 --> 00:10:12,072
Yeah, obviously, we wouldn't.
263
00:10:12,156 --> 00:10:14,615
We were just being jerks.
See you later, jerks.
264
00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:17,118
Okay. Bye, Jake. Bye, Rosie.
265
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,662
Whoo!
266
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:21,872
You ready, Boyle?
267
00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:23,414
Psyched up? No, why?
268
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,540
Do I seem psyched?
269
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,001
'Cause I'm definitely not.
I just want to have fun.
270
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,126
And to win.
271
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,628
Hey, if we all have fun
and don't throw any racquets
272
00:10:30,712 --> 00:10:33,505
and don't eat squash
balls, then we're all winners.
273
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,258
What? Nothing. I'll serve.
274
00:10:41,096 --> 00:10:42,429
Out. What?
275
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:45,808
Are you out of your mind? That was
276
00:10:47,642 --> 00:10:48,851
fun.
277
00:10:48,977 --> 00:10:50,561
That was a fun call.
278
00:10:50,770 --> 00:10:54,064
You're a real fun guy, fun guy.
279
00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:57,191
This is fun! This is fun!
280
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:01,861
Gina! I know astronomy can seem
281
00:11:01,945 --> 00:11:03,696
a little daunting and scientific,
282
00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:05,531
but I have a friend who I think
283
00:11:05,615 --> 00:11:07,324
can make it pretty interesting.
284
00:11:11,286 --> 00:11:12,328
Who dis?
285
00:11:12,412 --> 00:11:13,704
Hi, Gina, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson.
286
00:11:13,788 --> 00:11:14,872
And I care, why?
287
00:11:14,956 --> 00:11:16,706
Director of the Hayden Planetarium.
288
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,042
One of the world's
leading astrophysicists.
289
00:11:19,126 --> 00:11:20,876
And he's doing me a huge favor.
290
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,337
And how do you know Terrance, Space Tie?
291
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:24,505
We're gym buddies.
292
00:11:24,629 --> 00:11:25,839
[GRUNTING]
293
00:11:26,423 --> 00:11:29,716
Damn, Neil deGrasse Tyson!
How are you doing that?
294
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,845
It's physics, Terry. It's physics.
295
00:11:33,387 --> 00:11:36,055
Gina, look. Give me two hours.
296
00:11:36,139 --> 00:11:37,723
You'll not only pass your exam,
297
00:11:37,807 --> 00:11:40,517
you'll gain a deeper
appreciation of the universe
298
00:11:40,642 --> 00:11:44,478
through which we journey
on this spaceship Earth.
299
00:11:44,562 --> 00:11:46,563
Spaceship Earth? Way to go.
300
00:11:46,647 --> 00:11:48,898
You just made Earth
lame, and that is my house.
301
00:11:48,982 --> 00:11:50,942
Gina, why did you want to take astronomy?
302
00:11:51,026 --> 00:11:52,401
Because I thought it would be cool,
303
00:11:52,485 --> 00:11:55,278
just me sitting around
naming moons left and right,
304
00:11:55,362 --> 00:11:58,280
like Zorp, Bong, Dingo.
305
00:11:58,364 --> 00:12:01,659
Etcetera.
That would be one of the names, Etcetera.
306
00:12:01,826 --> 00:12:03,493
She's gonna fail, isn't she?
307
00:12:03,618 --> 00:12:04,995
Big time. Yeah.
308
00:12:05,495 --> 00:12:06,663
DIAZ: According to the shipping company,
309
00:12:06,747 --> 00:12:09,498
the container that came
in on October 11th is 34G1.
310
00:12:09,582 --> 00:12:10,624
Cool.
311
00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:11,916
Hey, what did you and Marcus do
312
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,334
for your six-month anniversary?
313
00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:15,127
Keeping in mind that
he's dreamy and romantic,
314
00:12:15,211 --> 00:12:16,879
and I only own $50.
315
00:12:17,046 --> 00:12:19,089
Marcus and I broke up. What? When?
316
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,342
A month ago. A month ago?
317
00:12:21,466 --> 00:12:22,800
How do I not know about this?
318
00:12:22,884 --> 00:12:23,968
Because we don't talk about that crap.
319
00:12:24,052 --> 00:12:25,177
We're not lame like the Swedes.
320
00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:27,929
Right. Yeah, totally.
321
00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:30,139
If Agneta broke up with her
husband, she'd probably be all,
322
00:12:30,223 --> 00:12:32,015
"Oh, Soren, I am so heartbroken,"
323
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,685
and he'd be like, "What can I do to help?
I'm sorry,"
324
00:12:34,769 --> 00:12:37,853
and give her a big old hug and
she'd be all feeling better like an idiot.
325
00:12:37,937 --> 00:12:40,438
We don't need to do that because
what we do together is solve crimes.
326
00:12:40,522 --> 00:12:41,648
You know it.
327
00:12:41,732 --> 00:12:45,526
For example, 34G1. Boom.
328
00:12:46,319 --> 00:12:48,904
We are about to uncover
a butt-load of diamonds.
329
00:12:48,988 --> 00:12:50,489
Exactly.
330
00:12:53,408 --> 00:12:55,993
It's fish! It's fish, Rosa!
331
00:12:56,077 --> 00:12:57,119
Ugh.
332
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,289
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
333
00:13:01,706 --> 00:13:03,291
Swedes.
334
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:05,959
Oh, hello, Jake.
You missed quite a party.
335
00:13:06,043 --> 00:13:08,169
The blond man from True Blood was there.
336
00:13:08,253 --> 00:13:09,920
Very cool guy. So cool.
337
00:13:10,004 --> 00:13:12,298
Yeah, that's cool. Hey, this is
weird because I hate you guys,
338
00:13:12,382 --> 00:13:13,464
but can I ask you a question?
339
00:13:13,548 --> 00:13:14,882
If you broke up with your husband,
340
00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:16,009
would you tell Soren about it?
341
00:13:16,093 --> 00:13:18,593
Are you making a funny
laugh joke right now?
342
00:13:18,677 --> 00:13:20,012
I would insist he be there for it
343
00:13:20,096 --> 00:13:21,972
so that my husband would
have a shoulder to cry on.
344
00:13:22,056 --> 00:13:24,098
Yeah, several years ago, Agneta and Lars
345
00:13:24,182 --> 00:13:25,474
were having trouble conceiving.
346
00:13:25,558 --> 00:13:27,809
She didn't even have to
ask me to donate my sperm.
347
00:13:27,893 --> 00:13:30,145
I had it already in a
Tooperware, ready to go.
348
00:13:30,229 --> 00:13:33,398
Wow, that's so gross, yeah.
349
00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:35,149
Can we ask you a question? Mmm-hmm.
350
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,484
Why do you smell like fish?
Is it hygiene?
351
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:40,445
No, we spent the night cutting
open hundreds of dogfish
352
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,154
to see if they had diamonds inside.
353
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,655
Did they? Wouldn't you like to know?
354
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,657
Yeah. It would be pertinent to the case.
355
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,159
They didn't.
Although, one did have a battery in it.
356
00:13:48,243 --> 00:13:50,369
What kind of a sicko
feeds a battery to a fish?
357
00:13:50,453 --> 00:13:52,579
Well, while you were wasting your time,
358
00:13:52,663 --> 00:13:54,456
we set up a meeting on 14 November
359
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,040
with the man we think is the buyer.
360
00:13:56,124 --> 00:13:57,708
Um… No, don't worry, Soren.
361
00:13:57,792 --> 00:14:00,002
I rescheduled your cycling
practice for 16 November,
362
00:14:00,086 --> 00:14:01,502
and your dentist for 19 November.
363
00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:03,797
You know me so well. [GIGGLES]
364
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,676
Ugh. Those guys suck.
365
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,012
They're so into each other, they're
probably gonna start holding hands.
366
00:14:13,096 --> 00:14:14,472
Oh, they're actually holding hands.
367
00:14:14,556 --> 00:14:16,556
Yeah, they are awful, for sure.
368
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,016
All tall and beautiful,
369
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:20,559
and you don't want to know what
they've got in their "Tooperware."
370
00:14:20,643 --> 00:14:23,187
But honestly, I don't know that
it's that bad that they're close.
371
00:14:23,271 --> 00:14:24,938
Wrong, it's the worst. Okay.
372
00:14:25,605 --> 00:14:27,440
Oh, my God, I just figured
out where the diamonds are.
373
00:14:27,524 --> 00:14:30,442
We thought the shipping container
came in on October 11th, 10/11,
374
00:14:30,526 --> 00:14:32,361
but dumb Europeans
write their dates backwards.
375
00:14:32,445 --> 00:14:34,320
We should've been going
through the one from 10 November.
376
00:14:34,404 --> 00:14:38,032
Of course! Stupid rest of the
world, writing their date all dumb.
377
00:14:38,116 --> 00:14:39,491
Yeah. Let's go. Okay.
378
00:14:40,284 --> 00:14:41,618
HOLT: Boyle.
379
00:14:41,702 --> 00:14:44,412
Is everything okay, you
know, with your brain?
380
00:14:44,537 --> 00:14:46,997
Yeah. I'm great. I'm having a lot of fun.
381
00:14:47,081 --> 00:14:49,541
Yes, I've heard you say that 162 times.
382
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:51,918
You do realize that if
we lose this next match,
383
00:14:52,002 --> 00:14:53,085
we're out of the tournament?
384
00:14:53,169 --> 00:14:54,961
Yes, but the important
thing is we had a good time.
385
00:14:55,045 --> 00:14:58,839
No! The important thing
is that we win the trophy.
386
00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:02,342
Because I promised Kevin before
he left for Paris that we would do that.
387
00:15:02,426 --> 00:15:06,012
Do you know why I
chose you as my partner?
388
00:15:06,096 --> 00:15:07,888
Because I'm the most
athletic person you know?
389
00:15:07,972 --> 00:15:10,516
No, because of an article I read
in the Sarah Lawrence Phoenix
390
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:15,520
about a young man they called
"squash's unhinged lunatic."
391
00:15:15,604 --> 00:15:16,853
I don't know what you're talking about.
392
00:15:16,937 --> 00:15:19,773
According to that article,
that lunatic was 27-0.
393
00:15:21,066 --> 00:15:22,775
I need him on my team.
394
00:15:23,776 --> 00:15:28,530
I need you to unleash the beast.
395
00:15:30,157 --> 00:15:31,908
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
396
00:15:34,785 --> 00:15:35,827
Whoo!
397
00:15:35,911 --> 00:15:37,745
You butternuts ready to get squashed?
398
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:39,622
"Huh? What? Duh?"
399
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,706
That's you guys while I smoke your butts,
400
00:15:41,790 --> 00:15:45,084
because Ray-Ray and the
Beast don't even give a what.
401
00:15:45,168 --> 00:15:47,128
We don't give a what. Uh-uh.
402
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,297
Whoo! Let's do this.
403
00:15:51,465 --> 00:15:53,050
[GRUNTING]
404
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:55,343
Booyahkah, suckers!
405
00:15:56,511 --> 00:15:58,053
Yeah! Oh!
406
00:15:58,137 --> 00:15:59,180
[GRUNTS]
407
00:15:59,846 --> 00:16:01,556
Yeah!
408
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:02,723
What?
409
00:16:02,807 --> 00:16:04,349
You kidding me? Are you kidding me?
410
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:05,809
[GRUNTS] Yes!
411
00:16:05,893 --> 00:16:07,102
Whoo! [SLAPS] Ow!
412
00:16:07,186 --> 00:16:08,978
Way to go! That's it, baby!
413
00:16:09,562 --> 00:16:11,397
Gina, great news.
414
00:16:11,481 --> 00:16:14,232
Oh, no. Is Neil deGrasse Tyson here?
415
00:16:14,316 --> 00:16:16,109
He will not stop trying to friend me.
416
00:16:16,193 --> 00:16:17,944
No, but we think we figured out
417
00:16:18,028 --> 00:16:19,736
how you're gonna pass your test.
418
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,405
Yeah, we realized that
we were trying to get you
419
00:16:21,489 --> 00:16:23,322
to learn using our methods.
420
00:16:23,406 --> 00:16:26,159
We should've been speaking your language.
421
00:16:26,493 --> 00:16:29,035
-[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
-The language of…
422
00:16:29,119 --> 00:16:30,162
BOTH: Dance!
423
00:16:30,704 --> 00:16:34,331
13.8 billion years
ago, there was nothing.
424
00:16:34,415 --> 00:16:36,668
And then the big bang!
425
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,003
Yes!
Now, Amy, back up till you feel the wall.
426
00:16:40,712 --> 00:16:42,796
And, Terry, ditch the shirt.
427
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,507
I'm ready to learn.
428
00:16:46,175 --> 00:16:48,343
[BOTH PANTING]
429
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,928
And that's how you
calculate parallax distance.
430
00:16:51,012 --> 00:16:53,930
[EXHALES] So, you ready for the test?
431
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,516
Oh, I took it this morning. I passed.
432
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,059
What?
It was nice how much you guys cared,
433
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,843
so I actually opened up
my textbook for the first time.
434
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:04,898
Y'all, astronomy is kind of interesting.
435
00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:07,441
And I am hella smart.
436
00:17:07,525 --> 00:17:09,818
Then why'd you make
us do that whole dance?
437
00:17:09,902 --> 00:17:13,405
Two reasons, uno and dos.
438
00:17:14,155 --> 00:17:15,197
I get that.
439
00:17:15,322 --> 00:17:18,409
One-two, one-two, one-two, one-two.
440
00:17:22,495 --> 00:17:23,538
[LAUGHS]
441
00:17:23,997 --> 00:17:25,706
I guess we are the better team.
442
00:17:27,457 --> 00:17:29,750
Why do people like these things?
They're just shiny rocks.
443
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:31,168
Yeah, totally.
444
00:17:31,752 --> 00:17:33,795
You should be happier.
We found the jewels, we won.
445
00:17:33,879 --> 00:17:35,838
Yeah, you're right. We should celebrate.
446
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,965
Why don't we go to a
bar and drink in silence?
447
00:17:38,049 --> 00:17:40,050
Cool. Sounds good.
No, I was being a bitch.
448
00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:41,259
How did you not pick up on that?
449
00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:42,594
What is your problem, man?
450
00:17:42,678 --> 00:17:44,261
Is this about your stupid
anniversary present?
451
00:17:44,345 --> 00:17:46,764
Yeah, that, and you not
telling me about Marcus.
452
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:48,181
We're supposed to be friends.
453
00:17:48,265 --> 00:17:50,975
You sound like Soren or
Agneta, whichever the boy one is.
454
00:17:51,059 --> 00:17:52,143
Well, say what you want about them,
455
00:17:52,227 --> 00:17:53,810
but at least they communicate, you know?
456
00:17:53,894 --> 00:17:56,480
I've never even heard
your slam poetry, Rosa.
457
00:17:56,564 --> 00:17:57,980
Why do you all of a sudden care about
458
00:17:58,064 --> 00:17:59,649
every single little detail of my life?
459
00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:03,109
Because all we talk
about is cop stuff, all right?
460
00:18:03,193 --> 00:18:04,361
And that was fine when we were 20
461
00:18:04,445 --> 00:18:05,529
because that's all I cared about.
462
00:18:05,613 --> 00:18:07,780
But we're adults now
and there are other things,
463
00:18:07,864 --> 00:18:09,698
like me and Amy and you and Marcus,
464
00:18:09,782 --> 00:18:11,534
that friends are supposed to talk about.
465
00:18:11,618 --> 00:18:13,159
Well, I guess we're not friends then.
466
00:18:13,243 --> 00:18:14,452
[SCOFFS] Wow.
467
00:18:14,536 --> 00:18:16,412
All right, I guess we're not.
468
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:17,538
[TRUCK RUMBLING]
469
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,165
Oh, uh-oh.
470
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:20,958
We're moving. Oh, really?
471
00:18:21,042 --> 00:18:23,334
Thank you for sharing that
intimate detail about your life.
472
00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:24,669
Jake. I know, we're screwed.
473
00:18:24,753 --> 00:18:26,295
I was being a bitch again!
474
00:18:30,507 --> 00:18:32,383
PERALTA: All right, I called for backup.
475
00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:34,051
I also texted all of my friends.
476
00:18:34,135 --> 00:18:35,802
You'll notice your phone didn't buzz.
477
00:18:35,886 --> 00:18:37,887
I think we're in Red Hook.
We're not on the BQE anymore.
478
00:18:37,971 --> 00:18:39,055
Nice try, Rosa.
479
00:18:39,139 --> 00:18:40,847
Don't try to kiss up to me by mentioning
480
00:18:40,931 --> 00:18:42,558
my third-favorite New York expressway.
481
00:18:42,642 --> 00:18:44,643
Shut up! We pulled into a parking lot.
482
00:18:44,727 --> 00:18:45,851
Things are about to go down.
483
00:18:45,935 --> 00:18:49,522
Backup won't make it here in time.
It's just me and you.
484
00:18:50,314 --> 00:18:51,606
I heard two voices in the truck.
485
00:18:51,690 --> 00:18:53,441
There'll be more if there's a meet-up.
486
00:18:53,525 --> 00:18:55,485
Go word is "Glurg." Copy that.
487
00:19:01,657 --> 00:19:04,199
Flergen! Come on, is that you?
488
00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:06,827
I haven't seen you since
Blorgenbergen, man!
489
00:19:06,911 --> 00:19:07,953
Who the hell are you?
490
00:19:08,037 --> 00:19:09,746
Give me a hand, you old dummy.
491
00:19:09,871 --> 00:19:11,539
It's me, Glurg.
492
00:19:12,248 --> 00:19:14,875
NYPD! Drop it!
Drop it, you're under arrest.
493
00:19:15,125 --> 00:19:17,419
I hope they have
saunas in Swedish prison.
494
00:19:17,503 --> 00:19:20,171
They do, actually.
They're quite nice. Oh.
495
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,173
Kevin, there's something
we'd like to show you.
496
00:19:24,257 --> 00:19:25,300
Ta-da!
497
00:19:25,384 --> 00:19:26,593
KEVIN: Ah, magnifique.
498
00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:28,135
The treble is ours.
499
00:19:28,219 --> 00:19:29,761
I look forward to getting
number four next year.
500
00:19:29,845 --> 00:19:33,097
Actually, we've been banned
for life from all future tournaments.
501
00:19:33,181 --> 00:19:34,390
Oh, no. What happened?
502
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,600
My fault, Kevin.
503
00:19:35,684 --> 00:19:37,309
I snapped the second-place trophy
504
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:38,977
over my knee and threw it in a urinal.
505
00:19:39,061 --> 00:19:40,770
Oh, my. Yeah.
506
00:19:40,854 --> 00:19:43,856
But the important thing is, we had fun.
507
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,399
Yeah.
508
00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:47,650
So, we'll be taking the jewels
back to Sweden tomorrow.
509
00:19:47,734 --> 00:19:51,278
Yeah. Guess you were wrong about us, huh?
Bet you feel pretty stupid.
510
00:19:51,362 --> 00:19:53,655
Actually, when you're wrong, that
means you've learned something.
511
00:19:53,739 --> 00:19:56,700
And any opportunity for learning is good.
512
00:19:56,908 --> 00:19:58,284
Ugh. You are the absolute worst.
513
00:19:58,368 --> 00:19:59,785
I hope you die in a fjord.
514
00:19:59,869 --> 00:20:02,871
No, no, we are trying to say we
are happy to have worked with you.
515
00:20:02,955 --> 00:20:05,165
Yeah, I know.
That is an infuriating attitude.
516
00:20:05,249 --> 00:20:07,041
Yeah, I second the fjord thing.
[CHUCKLES]
517
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,167
[SPEAKING SWEDISH]
518
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,128
Bye, Jake. Bye, Rosie.
519
00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:14,547
It's just how they walk around, I guess.
520
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:17,007
Get your hands off each other, weirdos.
God.
521
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,509
Well, nice job today.
522
00:20:20,593 --> 00:20:23,512
I guess we didn't have to know
each other to have each other's backs.
523
00:20:23,596 --> 00:20:25,472
So, drink in silence?
524
00:20:25,723 --> 00:20:26,931
This sucks.
525
00:20:27,015 --> 00:20:28,767
We solved the case and
told the Swedes how to die.
526
00:20:28,851 --> 00:20:30,809
I should be happy, but I
can tell you're bummed,
527
00:20:30,893 --> 00:20:33,312
and that's not cool
'cause we are friends.
528
00:20:33,396 --> 00:20:35,063
Really? Yes.
529
00:20:35,897 --> 00:20:37,357
And I thought of what you should do
530
00:20:37,441 --> 00:20:38,607
with Amy for your anniversary.
531
00:20:38,691 --> 00:20:40,817
Oh, thank God. I got her a boogie board.
532
00:20:40,901 --> 00:20:44,236
It has an iguana playing electric
guitar on it. She's gonna hate it.
533
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,031
The New York Public Library
lets VIPs stay there overnight.
534
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:51,117
Ooh, that's perfect.
But wait, how do I become a library VIP?
535
00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:52,910
I forgot to return Superfudge
in the fourth grade,
536
00:20:52,994 --> 00:20:54,787
and I've been scared
to go back ever since.
537
00:20:54,871 --> 00:20:57,164
Don't worry about it. I can hook you up.
538
00:20:57,248 --> 00:20:58,289
[INHALES]
539
00:20:58,373 --> 00:20:59,624
My new boyfriend works there.
540
00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:02,210
[GASPS] You shared! What's his name?
541
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:03,627
No, wait. I don't want to push too hard.
542
00:21:03,711 --> 00:21:05,420
No, it's cool.
543
00:21:05,504 --> 00:21:07,589
I want to tell you his name.
544
00:21:08,339 --> 00:21:10,716
Oh, okay, just gonna
take a quick drink break.
545
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:11,841
Here comes the name.
546
00:21:11,925 --> 00:21:13,635
Nope. Uno más.
547
00:21:13,886 --> 00:21:16,721
All righty. Good Lord!
548
00:21:16,888 --> 00:21:18,514
Putting 'em away.
549
00:21:18,639 --> 00:21:20,474
I have to imagine these
belong to someone else.
550
00:21:20,558 --> 00:21:22,350
It's fine. Yeah.
551
00:21:24,770 --> 00:21:27,188
It's Tom. [GASPS] I love it!